My Infinite Wisdom Blog

miWisdom today… The vast majority of people have a natural tendency to overestimate their time, work, energy, decisions and actions. This is known as the Jellybean principle, which is the act of being incapable of estimating correctly how many colored Jellybeans are in the jar.  

Back in high school there was always someone organizing a Jellybean counting competition of some sorts each year. They would get hold of the largest glass jar or container they could find, and would “stuff” it with as many jellybeans as was humanly possible. Then, one-by-one each student would attempt to guess how many Jellybeans were enclosed within the jar. I was intrigued as to how students would go about estimating the number of Jellybeans that were in the jar. 

• Would they try to calculate it mathematically based on the size of each jellybean and the dimensions of the glass jar?
• Would they just attempt to “guestimate” how many jellybeans would fit in a jar of that size?
• Or would they go to extra lengths and attempt to replicate my jellybean competition by purchasing their own jellybeans and jar?

The methods and ways these students used were as varying as their jellybean estimates. Yet, one interesting factor came out of this competition. This one factor in many ways explains how people think and how they go about their daily lives and decisions.

What I found was that 77% of entries that I received overestimated the jellybean count within the jar, and only 23% underestimated it. Given these results; what do they teach us about human nature?

People naturally have a tendency to overestimate their daily decisions and actions. They overestimate:

• Time - the time it will take them to complete a task or project
• Energy - the energy they have to undertake a certain activity
• Work - the amount of work they have to do within a specific time frame
• Decisions - the impact that their decisions will have on others, themselves and life
• Actions - the impact that their actions will have on others, themselves and life

Of course, not everyone overestimates the above points. Yet, based on the Jellybean Principle most people do have a habit and tendency towards making these kinds of decision and actions - and this is what leads to much hardship and disappointment in life.

People naturally tend to overestimate because they simply do not have enough information or experience within a specific field or area to make a more accurate estimate of what it would take to accomplish a certain task. They will look at a task and will only see it from the surface, from an outsider’s perspective. And it’s from this perspective that they will base their decisions. 

It’s much like looking at a box that has wrapping all over it. On the surface, everyone knows that it’s a box, and that to open a box it takes certain actions and tools. However, what many of us fail to understand is that what we see on the surface may not be quite what we will experience during the process and act of opening the box. We simply fail to ask ourselves the right questions, or fail to garner the necessary foresight in order to fully understand and comprehend the time, energy, and work it will take to accomplish each task. This lack of foresight is what leads to disappointment and potentially low levels of self-esteem.

Before you begin a new and unfamiliar task, you might like to ask yourself the following questions:

• What aspects of this task am I confident I can accomplish successfully without any outside assistance?
• What aspects of this task am I not familiar with?
• How can I go about becoming familiar and confident with these aspects?
• What if what I thought I knew wasn’t true at all? How can I verify that my knowledge and experience is adequate in accomplishing this task successfully?
• Do I understand that what might have worked in the past may not in fact work as planned today? How can I prepare for this possibility?
• What questions must I ask myself throughout this task to ensure that I stay on track and within the timeframe I have allocated?

If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.

miWisdom today… When perceptively negative circumstances befall people, they will usually tend to think the very worst of their predicament. Even if this person talks positively and optimistically about their situation to others, internally, they are expecting and preparing themselves mentally for the very worst end result. Since our expectations guide our decisions, direction and actions, we will therefore tend to realize our expectations in the real world more often than not.

How is it that our expectations tend to create our reality?

It has to do with our thought patterns and the emotions that we experience on a daily basis. Simply put; the direction of your thoughts influences what you are or are not able to perceive within your present environment. If you are thinking negatively you will tend to see negative people, events, problems and circumstances around you. On the other hand, if you are thinking positively, you will tend to see opportunities abound, that may well assist you in moving past your present reality of problems and obstacles. From here we come to understand that what we perceive externally will directly influence the decisions that we will make in the present moment. These decisions are obviously based on our perceptive filters which come directly from our thoughts and emotions.

Finally, we undertake our plan of action based on these filtered decisions, which will more times than not lead us in the direction of our original thoughts - or in other words, lead us in the direction of our expectations.

To avoid the Expectations Trap, you may find it helpful to ask yourself the following set of questions:

• What is the real issue here?
• How best can I define the challenges, obstacles or problems I am currently facing?
• As I do an internal check of my thoughts and emotions, what future expectations am I currently in the process of creating within the recesses of my mind?
• Based on these expectations, how am I currently filtering my reality?
• If my end goal is to look for solutions and opportunities; does my current filter of reality help or hinder me in this process?
• How must I begin to process my thoughts in order to allow myself to begin opening up my perceptive channels to potential solutions and opportunities?

If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.

miWisdom Empowering Thought & Reflection…

When an apparent problem arises, I center myself and relax. I then patiently propose a question to my higher self and thank it for providing me with a solution. I then let go and partake in something that is fun, pleasant and relaxing; fully knowing that my question will soon be answered when I least expect it.

miWisdom Empowering Thought & Reflection…

Whenever I desire love, I first search for it within myself.

miWisdom Empowering Thought & Reflection…

I encourage change in my life. The more accelerated the change, the more rapid my growth. 

miWidsom today… In times of crisis or when absorbing high doses of stress, you must at the very least appear to be under emotional control, otherwise other people will tend to lose confidence and faith in your abilities. This is especially important if other people are looking up to you or you are seeking to influence others through your behaviors, decisions or actions.

At times of great stress or hardship it is very easy for the human mind to fall prey to negative emotions that can sap one’s energy and make one lose focus of one’s main goals and objectives. During these times people tend to make the worst out of every situation. They tend to filter all events in a very dark and gloomy manner. Hope appears to be lost, they have no idea what to do next, and the resulting effect is that they lose control over their emotions.

Our emotions are like a balance bar of control, they keep us steady and centered even during times of crisis; as long as we are proactively guiding our emotions in a manner that keeps us on target towards our goals and objectives. However, if we suddenly begin to react emotionally to other people, events or circumstances, that is when the balance between our emotions and the control bar is broken. Because we are emotional creatures, we are simply unable to maintain control over something external if internally we are unbalanced and falling apart.

The key towards gaining back emotional control begins on the outside. One must first appear to others as though one is in full emotional control over oneself. This will give other people confidence in your ability to get the job done. This is especially important when you are in a leadership or management position within a company, organization, club or family. The appearance of control is the critical first step towards regaining your balance. When others see that you are not phased by your predicament, they will likewise maintain their poise and will better be able to assist you in this time of need.

Once you have established external emotional balance, you can now move onto the next step which is centering yourself internally. To do this one must learn to better understand oneself as well as the events surrounding one’s situation. The following set of questions may assist you to regain back the balance in your life while focusing you back on your most important goals and objectives:

• Why am I feeling overwhelmed and stressed at this very moment? - You are defining the problem.
• What external factors, people or events do I believe are causing this? - You are defining the cause.
• How specifically is all of this making me feel? - You are defining your emotional state.
• How do I normally react emotionally to these types of people, events or circumstances? - You are defining your habits.
• Given my outcomes and goals, what emotions would be most suitable and appropriate to utilize in this situation?
• How will I gain from experiencing and using these positive emotions?
• How do I now choose to act proactively in response to these people, events or circumstances?
• What strategies can I consistently use to ensure that I stay in this emotional proactive state?

If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.

miWisdom Empowering Thought & Reflection…

I accept that I am different to the majority of people in this world, I therefore hold differing perceptions and perspectives. I will listen and hear others out, however I will make my own judgements and my own decisions based on my own feelings, and not allow myself to be influenced or swayed by other people’s opinions.

miWisdom Empowering Thought & Reflection…

Any rejection I face is just a sign that I must learn something more and try yet again.

miWisdom Empowering Thought & Reflection…

Every time I have a conversation with another person, I am at that moment having a conversation with myself. I therefore gain from this interaction by learning about myself. Hence, everyone becomes my teacher.

miWisdom today… The more mistakes I make the more I change… the more I change the more I learn… the more I learn the more I grow… the more I grow the more opportunities appear and the more I am able to achieve in life.

This is a very simple formula, yet it has very profound implications for those who are able to understand and grasp it’s intrinsic meaning. Basically speaking, mistakes are simply a form of change that we must learn and grow from on a daily basis in order to attract the necessary opportunities that will allow us to flourish in our field of endeavor.

In our society today mistakes are frowned upon. If one makes a mistake, one is seen as incompetent and unworthy of success. Little do many people realize that mistakes are simply stepping stones to higher levels of understanding about one’s life and predicament.

Just imagine you are about to cross a river, and the only way across to the other side are a dozen stepping stones that you must walk upon. As you step onto the first stone you may be a little unsure or uncertain of yourself. You are thinking that the stone may be wobbly or that your foot may slip off, and as a result you will fall feet first into the water below. Sure, these are very uncertain times where 1 mistake could result in very wet socks. And as you progress along these stepping stones, more times than not (especially in the beginning stages of your journey), you may slip into the water. However, you have a goal, you have an objective to reach. And so you pick yourself out of the water and move forward across the stepping stones wiser than ever before for having fallen into the water below. Upon reaching the other side, you look back at your journey and realize just how much you have learnt from the mistakes you made.

Life is very much like a journey along these stepping stones. We make mistakes… We are changed or transformed by our mistakes… We learn from these changes… We grow as a result… and as we grow we make progress and attract new opportunities along our journeys. This is why it is so important never to get disheartened by the pitfalls which are there to help us gain the necessary experience we need to reach the other side of the river successfully.

The next time you feel as though the mistakes in your life are getting the better of you, try asking yourself the following questions:

• How have I changed as a result of this experience?
• What is life trying to teach me at this very moment?
• How have I grown from the lessons that I have learnt?
• What is intrinsically good about this that I hadn’t noticed before?
• Where is the hidden opportunity that this experience has blessed me with?
• What must I do next that will allow me to move forward towards my objective?

If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.