Pain Makes People do Cruel Things, Even when they are Intrinsically Good
December 2, 2007 by Adam Sicinski
miWisdom today… Pain makes people do cruel things, even when they are intrinsically good.
Our lives are filled with constant ups and downs. The happiest of moments come and go, and over time they have a tendency to balance out the sadness that some of us continue to hold within our hearts. Because we are such emotional creatures we tend to easily get carried away and lost within the moments where we have much at stake and plenty to lose. Within these moments, suddenly everything could be lost in the blink of an eye, and as a result an awe encompassing and overwhelming pain explodes from within and paralyses us externally. Unable to think rationally, unable to make educated decisions, and unable to take actions that are consistent and congruent with our highest values and morals; we fall into the pits of a selfish misunderstanding of our predicament, where everything we do from this moment forth comes from a survival reactionary state that came ingrained within the software recesses of our minds.
- It is within these moments that life tends to get the better of us.
- It is within these moments that uncharacteristic habits, decisions and actions can begin to dominate our reactions to circumstances.
- It is within these moments that good people end up undertaking regrettably evil acts.
Take the pain of a broken heart. Once so full of life, so full of love, and so full of giving; today it rests there within the safety of its cage, restless, yet pained by the cuts and wounds of its battles with an enemy it once adored and would sacrifice its life for. This heart has suddenly been changed. Once full of love, today that love has been replaced by anguish and a saddened feeling of emptiness, a void that this heart longs to fill no matter what it takes.
A heart so suddenly hurt with these emotional disabilities, now evolves and mutates into something that once had no presence. Suddenly a new irrational attitude is born and the heart seeks to right the wrongs, to bring justice to the empty space it feels expanding from within. In order to hold back and shun these feelings of emptiness and weakness, it fights back by taking over the emotional centers of the brain and urging the body into physical action that it otherwise wouldn’t have taken on its own accord. It becomes irrational and unjustly, feeling only of its own void and self-pride that was once filled with a radiant energy, and now rests empty like a dried up well.
Can you blame this heart for the actions it is about to take?
We are emotional creatures… that we are, and we all have cruelty lying hidden deep within the recesses of our souls. It just takes the right (or wrong) trigger to unleash this beast out of its slumber and onto an unsuspecting world. Yes… pain makes people do cruel things, even when they are intrinsically good. Yet pain is only a response, an interpretation so to speak about external events and circumstances that overwhelm and bring much sorrow and unhappiness to our lives. It is not so much the pain that we suffer that changes us, but rather our own interpretation of the pain that determines how we will proceed from this moment on. Our hearts are reactionary, and will bend and flow in accordance to our perceptions of the events that unfold within the presence of our senses. How we interpret our perceptions will either weaken or strengthen our beating heart.
The moment you find yourself being ruled by an unforgiving heart, you might find it helpful to ask yourself the following questions:
- How is it exactly that I am feeling this way? Can I describe these emotions clearly and concisely?
- Is it rational for me to be feeling this way about this situation?
- Could I be misreading this situation based on my limited and biased perspective? Could my emotions be filtering out my reasoning?
- Even the worst of circumstances have a silver lining if only I look for it. What could the silver lining be here? - Today and into the future.
- Would everyone I know react and feel this way about this situation? If not, than how different would their reactions and feelings be?
- If I was to separate myself emotionally from this situation what would I see, and how would I feel? Are things any different?
- How can I proceed forward in accordance to my highest and most important values?
- If all of a sudden this event or situation was completely eradicated from my memory, how would I proceed with my life from this moment on?
- Do I understand that a little time, separation and nurturing can mend and in many instances repair the wounds of a broken heart?
If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.
Thanks for your great articles
To your success,
Tracy Ho
http://www.wisdomgettingloaded.com
I see this article as a bit too emotional. Maybe I am too cold for this kind of empathy but I must state that I find life quite easy to bear… There are, of course, a lot of interesting questions about life. I submit it all to intellect.
thx for vixiting my blog. It would be great if you could guest post sometime, i would gladly return the gesture.
i find a lot of truth in your post. i see “survival mode” as like drowning, some people will climb on the back of another to not drown, or like the Titanic incident, some will row away or leave others to drown.
i do not believe this is human nature-to think only of self when feeling mortal. many instances abound where people give their life, or risk theirs even when their lifees challenges are great.
this week a once warm, very giving friend in my life rowed away. she is under so much stress, some self made some circumstance born into, but she has gone into selfish mode.
there is an arabic proverba that says friendship is about vlowing away the chaf and holding onto the grain. i may not trust my friend at present (many threats were made and stuff broken, my pets endangered- she has a drug abuse issue that i have only found out about), i may not ever trust her again. i will always be here for her though somehow. even if it’s only feeding out a 10 foot pole to stop her drowning and she doesn’t know it is me holding it.
i am fortunate to have had an upbringing that encouraged me to not give up hope, and to not write someone off because they turn on you (within reason, another friend a month ago i asked to stay out of my life, but that was after months of benefit of the doubt and seeing that me in his life was an obstacle to both of us, even if he didn’t realise it).
i like to think that those trying times are when i have the opportunity to be the person i see myself to be, who i want to be in my heart. there is something about sharing and caring for others when one is strung out and world falling that puts things into perspective and makes the experience so worth it.
Thanks for sharing your feelings char111. Hope is no doubt one of the most important pieces of ourselves that we must always hold onto. Sometimes it is all we have left after being battered and bruised by life, people and circumstances. Hope is that small flame that burns within a heart that otherwise appears too dim to even recognize. Yet it exists, and within it lies the key to passion.
Passion is a fire that burns as bright as day. It’s an unstoppable force no matter what the circumstances or adversity. It is by turning the flame of hope into the fire of passion that brings forth movement and momentum.
Hope will last great anguish and many challenges, but its the passion that propels one forward beyond what one ever thought was possible.
You speak wise words char111. It is so important for all of us to tackle adversity and rise above our experiences and circumstances.
Guest posting sounds fine. Give me a couple of weeks as I am working through updates to my other blogs and we’ll work something out from there. I hope to get back to updating this blog regularly as well.
I am a broken heart.
Your blog helped me a lot.